No one knows better than I myself...

My Theme Song
I Am What I Am: sung by Linda Eder on "Broadway, My Way"

I am what i am
i am my own special creation
so come take a look
give me the hook
or the ovation

It's my world
that i want to have a little pride in
my world
and it's not a place i have to hide in

Life's not worth a damn
til you can say
Hey, World!
I am what i am!

I am what i am
i dont want praise
i dont want pitty

I bang my own drum
some think its noise
i think its pretty

And so what!
if i love each sparkle
and each spangle,
why not try to see things from a different angle?

Your life is a sham
til you can shout
out loud,
I am what i am!

I am what i am
and what i am
needs no excuses

i deal my own deck
sometimes the ace
sometimes the dueces

Theres one life!
and theres no return and no deposit
one life!
so its time to open up ur closet!

Life's not worth a damn
til you can say
Hey, World!
I am what i am!

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Linda Eder "Broadway My Way"

"It was a fine affair but now it's over!"
It is time for an update! It's only been...what? 2 months? Sorry I've been away, time has just been flying and I've been meaning to make more posts on ehre but kept forgetting. But I miss LJ (and Kate!) so....yes, I have returned (*cue for you all to take huge sighs of relief.) Life has been going good lately. Not much has changed since I last posted actually! How sad. I cannot wait for summer to come! Just one more week!!! And I just may fail my math class, and I've decided I don't care. I've tried my best this semestor, and if that's not enough what can I do? My other classes are all A's and I can re-take math next semestor at Lindenwood (which I hear has a much better prgram for it.) Love life has steadily improved yet at the same time gone nowhere. I had another date today that didn't go the way I wanted it to but it didn't go badly either. He's a guy I'd want to be friends with but not boyfriends with. To be honest, he's really, really feminine (and I mean being close to Jack on Will and Grace!) and that just turns me off. I'm just attracted to a more low-key, "introverted" guy who I can of cousre laugh with, but also be romantic with and have deep conversations with. This guy is really funny and cool and whatnot but just not my type, so I feel kind of bad (damn empathy!) lol.
In other news I am, as usual, pissed at Hellgreens! I asked my manager several times to make sure that after May 12 (end of finals) I need a lot more hors over the summer. She assured me at least 25. Well, I check the schedule this week and she has it made up until the first week of June, and I never have more than 10 hours each week! I need the money very bad so I'll have to leave my manager a note asking her what's up. Or else I need to find another job (which may not be a bad thing.)
I also started piano lessons this week and I love it. I can't wait for this week to be over so I can devote more time to studying it. My teacher told me I have to have all the notes memorized by this Monday or else I won't be able to go any further in the book. I love the piano though! Ever since I saw Casablanca and the Sam guy playing "As Time Goes By." It looked so classy and sophisticated.
Well, hopefully that's a good enough entry for now! Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: "Mein Heir"-Liza Minnelli

Kate's Kick Ass Movie Survey!
This or That
Joan Crawford or Bette Davis: Joan....Bette Davis scares me.
John Wayne or Gary Cooper: I hate John Wayne! So I'll go with this Gary Cooper fellow.
MGM or Paramount: MGM
Marlene Dietrich or Greta Garbo: Dietrich definately
Jean Harlow or Marilyn Monroe: Jean, I've never really seen the appeal in Marilyn
Ann Miller or Cyd Charisse: Ann Miller
Silents or Talkies: talkies
June Allyson or Debbie Reynolds: Debbie Reynolds
Clark Gable or Cary Grant: Clark
Ingrid Berman or Hedy Lamarr: Ingrid hands-down! She's a much better actress
William Powell or Robert Taylor: Robert
Black & white or Technicolor: b&w
Carole Lombard or Rosalind Russell: Carole, she cracks me up
Joan Fontaine or Olivia DeHavilland: Olivia
Ava Gardner or Elizabeth Taylor: Probally Ava, but that's close because I like them both
Julie Andrews or Barbra Streisand: Definately Barbra by a mile, Julie has a very beautiful voice but not much behind it. Barbra has more style (or at least she did before she went all "pop" in the 70's and 80's...*gags)
Louise Brooks or Clara Bow: Clara...why not?
Rudolph Valentino or Douglas Fairbanks: Rudolph Valntino....that is the classiest name!
Robert Redford or Paul Newman: Robert
Lana Turner or Rita Hayworth: Rita
Tony Curtis or Jack Lemmon: Jack Lemmon
Bob Hope or Bing Crosby: Bing Crosby....although I'm not mcuh of a fan of either
Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin: FRANK! Dean's voice bores me to sleep
Audrey Hepburn or Katharine Hepburn: Kate, best actress EVER
Eleanor Powell or Ginger Rogers: Ginger
Judy Garland or Liza Minnelli: Oh please...Liza's great but she's not 1/4th of what her mom was!
Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire: Gene...I'm in love with him...
Claudette Colbert or Myrna Loy: Myrna
Marlon Brando or Humphrey Bogart: Humphrey
Greer Garson or Deborah Kerr: Deborah
The Stars
3 Favorite Actors: Henry Fonda, Tom Hanks, Dustin Hoffman
3 Favorite Actresses: Katharine Hepburn, Judy Garland, Ingrid Bergman
3 OVERRATED Actors: Marlon Brando, John Wayne, TOM CRUISE
3 OVERRATED Actresses: Grace Kelly, Julia Roberts, Bette Davis

Your Top 3
3 Most Quotable Movies: When Harry Met Sally, Casablanca, The Wizard of Oz
3 Saddest Movies: A Star Is Born, Brokeback Mountain, Philadelphia
3 Most Romantic Movies: Gone With The Wind, An Affair To Remember, Breakfast At Tiffany's
3 Guilty Pleasures:
3 Movies You Loved As A Kid: The Land Before Time, Sound of Music, Wizard of Oz
3 Movies You Never Talk About But Love: Rebel Without A Cause, Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?, Good Will Hunting
3 Musics You Love: Swing Time, A Star Is Born, Easter Parade
3 Need To Sees: Some Like It Hot, Proof, Jarhead
The End.

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: All That Jazz-Liza

Gay men rock....
Okay, so I'm walking to my car on break from class when I suddenly, out of nowhere, hear this flamoboyant voice singing "clang clang clang went the trolley! Ding ding ding went the bell, zing zing zing went my heartstrings, from the moment I saw him I fell...." aka JUDY'S TROLLEY SONG FROM MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS!!! I wasn't really paying attention at first, but then my Judy radar went off, and I started looking around to see who was playing/singing it. Amanda, it was the purse guy from your class you were telling me about! LOL. The guy you said who always came to class singing! Well, I caught him in the act today, and it was totally one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite singers! I'm sorry for my excitement, but it's not everyday I find a CUTE gay guy singing Judy Garland songs. So I say to him as he's walking by, singing without a care in the world, "hey, sorry for interrupting, but do you like Judy Garland?" And he does the gay enhale (lol!) and says "oh my God, how did you know??? she is soooo fabulous!!!!" BAH! It was so funny. God, I love gay men......

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Judy Garland-Over the Rainbow

Hey guys, sorry it's been so long since I updated. I've been posting on myspace. Life has been good lately for the most part. Minus school and math of course, but other than that I've been enjoying life. Even work has been bareable since I've been working shorter shifts and with friends that I like. Math is really stressing me out. I have a test on monday and really need to do well on it. If I fail I'm thinking about dropping the course and just seeing if I could take it at Lindenwood next semestor. The problem with that is I'd be dropping a 4 credit course which means I'd be down to only 10 hours and it takes 12 to be a full-time student. So basically....I REALLY need an A or B on this test!!! A C wouldn't be terrible but before the last test I had a high B and now I have a 75 (respectable C, right?)

But other than that things have been a lot better. I've been writing a lot and really been pondering who I am and who I want to be. I know, what else is knew? But I've come to some revelations in a sense that I find quite thought-provoking. Go me! lol. I wrote about some of it on myspace so I don't want to repeat myself....just go read my other blog if you care (lol.) Right now I'm just up at school waiting for my film class to start. I got an A on my last test in there, woot! At least I'm doing good in something! Actually, Anthropology is an A also. Today's film class will suck though, because we're watching From Here To Eternity. Not my favorite film at all. I thought we were watching it last week but it turns out we watched It Happened One Night instead. That one has always been one of my favorites and is hysterical! But "Eternity" is boring, depressing, and highly over-rated in my opinion. Frank Sinatra won an oscar for his role and I don't think he did a very good job in it at all. I've never found him to be a great dramatic actor. He's an awesome dramatic singer, so I don't know why he couldn't do the other. Of course I believe he won the same year that Grace Kelly got her oscar over Judy's FAR SUPERIOR job in A Star is Born. So to conlude....the academy was fucked up in 1955.

Anyway.....sorry for a boring "comeback" entry....hahaha. I'm bored and hungry so I need to go get food! Talk to you all later!

Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: "Live Alone and Like It"-Liza Minnelli

Excuse me while I disappear...
This will be a boring entry. Why? Because I am bored out of my mind! I want spring, damn it! The cold sucks. I officially hate winter. The summer means...A) trips to San Francisco and Florida...B) sitting outside, taking walks, going swimming, getting tan...C) no fucking math class...D) preparing for Lindenwood and new experiences...and E) Phantom of the Opera. I can't express how much I want this semestor over with. Why? My classes are crappy to the extreme. So pointless with what I plan to do with my life that I only am motivated to "get by." I miss Nicole in New York. I'm jealous that she got to move and that I'm stuck here without her. I miss my Judy buddy! Having Judy nights alone is just pathetic. Even Judy is no fun anymore. God, how sad. I need some reason to get up in the morning...not to just get through the day. I need a boyfriend. I need to feel loved and feel needed and I can't stand any more of these pointless nights alone just feeling completely cut off from the rest of the world. Who would even give a fuck if I vanished from it? How would it affect anyone at all? Life is so empty and pointless and boring....and cold....did I mention I HATE WINTER???

Sorry for this entry. I need to get these moods out of me. I'll go to bed now.

Current Mood: miserable
Current Music: "When No One Cares"-Frank Sinatra

Hello all,

today is not shaping up to be the best day, but it's friday...that means the weekend!!! No stress!I'm glad this week is over. To many tests...to many "F's"...hehe. Actually, I got an "A" on my anthropology test, it was the highest grade in the class. I just took math and, as usual, don't think that went well, but I have an 87% already so hopefully it won't kill me to bad. And my astronomy test went bad but I barely studied so serves me right. My film test should have been pretty good though. It was hard (yes, I know, a FILM class!) but I studied and knew a good amount of it. It's not just a class on the actors and plots of the movies, but how movies are made, what kind of angles you use for what shots, the history of it all, etc.

All in all school is okay I guess. I really want out though. Not out of school, but this college, this town, this state, etc. I've been craving new surroundings lately. I know it sounds stupid and no one probally takes me seriously but I feel like I'd be more motivated somewhere new. Namely because I'd be scared to be all on my own, and it'd push me to work harder to succeed and try to meet new people and "escape" from my comfort zone more. I'm bored and feel stuck. I'm certain there are much bigger and brighter things ahead for me but I don't see any of them happening here. I've been here all my life, you know? I want out!

Well, I wasn't paying attention to the time, and it's 10:15. I guess I'm skipping anthropology! (lol) I just had the math test at 8:30 and was out by 9:30, and since anthro didn't start until ten I came to the library to kill time. Oh well, I was thinking I'd skip anyway. We're talking about race and sexuality right now and my class pisses me off to no end. I'm to tired to be opinionated today so I just figured I'd skip! lol.

I'm so pissed at the weather right now! The whole week has been gorgeous, while I've been stuck in studying, and now that it's the weekend when I have nothing to do it's supposed to be freezing and snowy! What are odds? hehe. I was hoping to go on a picnic or something, but I guess it's to early to start thinking about those things anyway. This weekend should be fun none-the-less, since I have no homework (except to do my rough draft paper on Judy for film class, which I could do in my sleep.) Tonight I'm going out with work friends, tomorrow we have a family party for my dad's birthday, and sunday...hmmm, don't think I have plans for sunday. Oh well, I'll relax! I do work at Walgreens both days, but only four hour shifts which fly by. I'm also looking forward to the week, because I don't think I have much homework except readings and starting the new math sections and such. So the stress has temporarily been lifted!Well, have a good weekend everyone. I'm going home to take a nap!

Current Mood: content

"Please stay with me, til after the holidays..."
Hello everyone! Hope everyone is having a great Valentine's Day. I've actually risen above my bitterness and am having a very good day so far. This is due, in large measure, to the gorgeous weather outside. It feels like spring! God, I can't wait for spring...it's my favorite season and my spirits are always up during it. I can't wait to be able to take my long walks at night or early morning again and not freeze my ass off! I miss doing that and I need it a lot of the time. Sometimes when I'm feeling very lonely I just can't stand to be in the house anymore. Everything just feels to tight and suffocating. Walking and just gazing up at the night sky makes everything seem less overwhelming and always soothes my mind. I will most definately be doing it tonight just to take advantage of how nice it is out.

As for tonight...no plans really. I need to finish my math homework so I'll be able to have all wensday and thursday for studying. I only have two more sections though, so it shouldn't be bad.

I don't really have anything else to say, so here is a song that I love from the stage version of Cabaret:

"I Don't Care Much:"

I don't care much
Go or stay
I don't care very much
Either way.
Hearts grow hard
On a windy street,
Lips grow cold
With the rent to meet.
So if you kiss me...
If we touch...
Warning's fair,
I don't care very much.
I don't care much,
Go or stay,
I don't care
Very much
Either way.
Words sound false
When your coat's too thin.
Feet don't waltz
When the roof caves in.
So if you kiss me,
If we touch,
Warning's fair...
I don't care
Very much...

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: "Don't Tell Mama"-Cabaret

"How I wanted love and fell, now I say what the hell"
Valentine's Day is upon us. LOVE BITES!!! Sorry, I'm in a really negative mood right now. Of course spending 20 hours of the weekend at Walgreens selling all the Valentine necessities (candy, cards, condoms, etc.) didn't help. It was so busy! Will you all permit me to bitch about Valentine's Day now? It's such a stupid holiday! Really, think about it: it just makes couples feel obliged to do something for each other, when really they should do that because they are in love and not just for one stupid day. And then it also makes every other person who's not in a relationship feel like a loser. Just so retail stores can sell millions of candy, cards, and condoms! None of which I will be getting or needing! (please excuse the pathetic display of self-pity.) Damn commercial holidays...

ANYWAY...
I've got plenty of exams to take my mind off it. Film test tomorrow, atronomy test thursday, and...dun dun dun....math test friday. I'm not to worried about any of them except math. Hopefully all will go well. I have a 2-hour break tomorrow before film to go over my study guide that I filled out this weekend.

Well, that's all I feel like writing (lol.) Thanks for reading my traditional valentine bitch-fest! (It's how I celebrate.) Hope you all have a good week!

Current Mood: grumpy
Current Music: "Cold Cold Heart"-Tony Bennett

So last night was Liza Minnelli's appearance on Inside The Actor's Studio with James Lipton. 2 hours of Liza with a Z! It was funny because the first thing James said to her was "I'm often asked that if I could go back in time and interview someone already gone, who would it be? Well, of course at the top of that list is Judy Garland..." it was funny because here is Liza Minnelli, a living legend in her own right, who's won an oscar, a grammy, numerous Tony's, emmy's, and golden globes, and the first thing she's asked is "can we talk about your mother?" lol. But talk she did and she was very hilarious with her stories (particuarly about her "mama") and insightful when talking about acting and singing and the theater, etc. Oh, and she's in a new movie called the Oh in Ohio...where she plays a sex therapist. She's only in 5 minutes of it, but the clip they showed was hilarious! She was so embarrassed that he showed it, because her opening line was "I'm now going to teach you the healing powers of MASTUR-BATION!" Oh, dear God, I was rolling! And then when asked what her favorite curse word was, she thought for a minute before replying "mother-fucking-cock-suckers." It was GREAT! They also showed clips of her 1972 television special that's being released on DVD in a few months. It's also an album that I have and seeing the footage made me want it so bad. Her Cabaret medley at the end was amazing!

In other news, life is fine. Same as always really. School--boring...Math--evil...Love life--sad...friends--hilariously fun to be around...Walgreens--incredibly slow lately. Not much else to say. Sorry!

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: "Maybe This Time"-Liza Minnelli

Hey guys,

I just spent the past 50 minutes registering and posting on a new Judy Garland forum. I am officially the biggest dork alive.

Anyway, I figured I might as well get a post in (a real one, not just the song below.) Things are going pretty well. I have a math test on wensday that has me kind of worried. But I have all my homework done so I just have to go over it tomorrow. Hopefully won't be to stressful.

Tomorrow before class I'm going to Lindenwood and having a tour of the campus and meeting with a psychology counselor. Hopefully all will go well. I'm really looking forward to living there (hopefully) just to expereince something new and get out of this rut I feel like I'm in now. It'll be cool to have more independance anyway (I am 21 afterall.)

Many cool trips are being planned for the next few months. Possibly San Fransisco with my dad over spring break, and then to Florida and Chicago with my family in the summer. I seriously can't wait! I need to go somewhere. This semestor is boring the hell out of me so far. My classes are ridculously stupid and serve no point towards my major (they're just requirements for my degree) and my relationship life is a joke. I just need to look forward to going somewhere and getting away for a bit.

My film class is cool though! We're studying Charles Chaplin right now, who was the first international movie star of silent films. I've never seen any silent movies, but they're actually kind of interesting. I couldn't watch to many of them for to long, my mind would go numb, but it's cool to see how the actor still conveys emotion without speaking and just through expressions, mannerisms, etc.

Well, that's all she wrote. I'm out! Hope everyone has a good week!

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: "Smile"-Judy Garland

Gotta Move: this song kicks ass. I heard it when I was driving home listening to Sirius Satellite radio: Broadway's Best. Sung by Barbra Streisand.

Gotta move, gotta get out...
Gotta leave this place, gotta find some place,
Some other place, some brand new place,
Some place where each face that i see
Won't be staring back at me
Telling me what to be and how to be it!
Some place where i can just be me...
Gotta move, got to get out,
Gotta leave this town, gotta find some town
Some big new town, some bright new town
Some new town with new places, new lives
And most of all some new faces
Gotta find a man, a new man

A man who won't worry 'bout where i go
A man who wont ask how i learned what i know
A man who will know that you've gotta be free
A man who will know when to just let me be!
Gotta move, gotta get out!
Gotta change my life, gotta find my life
I'll find me a place in some new town and baby
when i find me that new place, then maybe ours,
Gotta leave this town!
Gotta leave this place!
Gotta find a new man!
Gotta move!

Current Mood: worried
Current Music: "Get Happy/ Happy Days"-Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand

BlAH. That is the perfect word to describe my mood. Not exactly depressed but far from happy. I feel like such a loser lately, like I don't fit in anywhere. And I've been really self-conscious of the way I look. I don't know why because I never cared before, but for some reason I've just felt very unattractive lately. Strange. As for not fitting in...I just have nothing in common with a lot of people my age. No similiar tastes in music or movies or hobbies. I don't go clubbing and never could see me doing that to be honest. No one who clubs around are really looking for serious, committed relationships as I am (the majority anyway) and I'd hate to be in a setting where you are being judged strictly by how hot you look, how hot you dance, how hot your clothes are, how much you're drinking, etc. I just wouldn't belong so I really have no idea how I'm ever going to date. Unless I move to San Franscisco where we all flock (hehe.) That is another reason why I feel like a loser. I never date at all. I was asked out by a girl this week and really thought about saying yes just so I wouldn't forget what dates are like! Plus she was hot...it I was straight it'd totally work out. Damn gayness. I'm very resentful of it actually. It's been much more inconvenient in my life so far than helpful.
I think, after Lindenwood perhaps, that I may move to San Diego or San Fransisco to live. San Diego was beautiful when I shortly visited there a few years ago, and I've heard huge raves about San Fran from Monica (who lives there now), my dad (who's been there a lot on business trips.) And of course from Judy and Tony! (hehe, joking.) I just don't want to be stuck here all my life. Not that it's a bad area but...I don't find it very stimulating I guess. Maybe I just feel the need to start over somewhere else and have all new possiblities. If I stayed here I know I'd feel trapped.
In other news....my spirits were lifted when I found out that Liza will be on Inside The Actor's Studio on Feb. 5th! Woot! It's about freakin' time!

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: "Same Old Saturday Night"-Frank Sinatra

Well shit...I just wrote this massively long paragraph and accidenatlly deleted it. Oh well...anyway, right now I'm downloading the album "Judy and Liza at the London Palladium" and it's got 20 more minutes to go so I figured I'd kill the time by updating. I've had a lot on my mind lately, namely the future. Just more pondering who I am and who I want to be, etc. I've been very lonely lately. It seems that my comfort zone of keeping to myself and staying indepedant isn't so comforting anymore. Who would have thought that I'd turn into some desperate, sentimental slob? lol. I'm not depressed by any means. I'm still feeling energetic, spirited, etc. It's just that what used to be a satisfying way of life for me isn't working anymore, and that's a good thing. Satisfaction doesn't equal motivation, and I feel very motivated right now, even if it's loneliness that's triggering it. I want to try to get past it though. I don't want to be the kind of person that relies on a relationship to make them happy. That always disgusts me and besides, going into a relationship desperate is never going to solve anything. I do believe that in order to be in a successful relationship, a person should already be happy and satisfied with who they are and how they're life is going, and I don't really think I'm there right now. I'm looking into activities and hobbies and things like that to take my mind off being lonely and to also give me something to be more passionate about. Writing doesn't help, I just write about being lonely! lol. Not that I'll stop that ever, I rely on it to much for reflection, but I just want to explore myself some more and see what else I could be good at. Anyway, I'll write more later...only one minute until Judy and Liza goodness! hehe.

Current Mood: optimistic

"Just when I think I'm free as a dove...old devil moon, deep in your eyes, blinds me with love"
Hey guys,
first week of the new semestor almost over! All my classes seem cool...except...can you guess?? College algebra!!! But I won't vent about that right now. There will be plenty of time for that in the next few months. My film class will be fucking awesome. Although my class is not very educated on classic stars. No one knew who Clark Gable was...or Henry Fonda....or Judy Garland, among others....yeah, pretty sad. I mean, they're all pretty famous names. To have not even heard of them?? But still...the class will rock. We're watching many cool films and we have to write papers on one star from AFI's greatest legends list (the list I posted before) and then one movie on AFI's greatest films list. Of course the star I choose will be Judy because I'll hardly have to research anything! Film I'm not sure about...Casablanca? Gone With The Wind? There's to many good ones to choose. Yes, yes, I know...I'm the nerd in the class who's all excited and already knows information about every star that's listed in the syllabis that we're going to learn about. hehe. Oh well. My Anthropology class will be cool to, because we get to debate things like religion, sexuality, marriage....yeah, all things I'm particularly opinonated about. I have a feeling I'm going to be beat up by a gang of homophobic thugs after that class sometime this semestor! Anyway, that's my week. Off to bed now. Have a good weekend everyone!

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: "Old Devil Moon"-Judy Garland/ That's Entertainment album

Well, life is wonderful! I just got back from Lindenwood and everything went great. I just need to get my transcript from SCCC sent to them and everything will be taken care of (besides picking classes and so forth.) I met with a counselor who was really young and nice and she went over tuition with me and how many of my classes will transfer (all but a few that don't pertain to my psych major.) And she said I could call her up later this week and make an appointment with her for a tour of campus and the dorms (I'll definately be living there) and to meet with the head teacher in the psychology department. I'm so excited right now! Anyway, just wanted to post a quick update before class. I have my only one today in about an hour.

Current Mood: excited
Current Music: "Rags To Riches"-Tony Bennett

School starts up tomorrow. I only have one class though, astronomy at 1-2:20. M,W, and F are my long days from 8:30-4:00. Before class tomorrow I'm going up to Lindenwood to apply. After researching UMSL and visiting the campus I really didn't think it was for me. I may still apply anyway, but I've talked to people who've gone to Lindenwood and some who've gone to UMSL and it seems like Lindenwood is the more preferred. Plus it's much closer and in a better area so I can dorm there, while UMSL is more of a commuter school. So I filled out the application tonight and now just need to make sure everything will transfer and get my transcripts from Dominic and SCCC sent to the admissions office. I also want to see about financial aid. This guy from my work who's pretty much a huge slacker got a FREE ride there on a hockey scholarship....and he doesn't even play hockey there! Maybe I could get a theater or writing one. So I'm just hoping all my classes will transfer and then everything should go fine.
In other news, I've been in incredibly high spirits lately. I really haven't had this kind of happy energy and motivation for life in a long, long time. I've just felt more secure and confident and put things that I used to worry about in greater perspective. I feel ambitious, determined, and optimistic. Yay for me (lol.)
Good luck with everyboy starting school this week! Hope there's not to much homework!

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: "Don't Ever Leave Me"-Judy Garland

Hey peeps. Don't know why I just said "peeps." I'm in a ghetto gangsta mood. (not really, I'm just bored.) It's saturday night and I've got squat to do. Oh well, I've been watching all my Fred and Ginger goodness. "Heaven, I'm in heaven..." ahhh, good stuff! Anyway, nothing going on lately. Remember the root canal that I said didn't hurt at all last week? Well, that's shot! It's been hurting like HELL since wensday! I've been popping so many pills I could probally empty out a pharmacy. No joke. LOL.
School starts back up on tuesday and I think I'm ready for it. I want to try and get involved in some clubs or organizations this semestor (since it's my last semestor at good ol SCCC.) Plus I just want to meet new people. I was looking at there website and a few looked interesting. Who knows, I might as well try looking into them. I'm actually looking forward to it.
Well, sorry for this pointless entry! I'm BORED!!! hehe. Sorry for making you all suffer with me.lol. Anyway, yeah....I'll go now.

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: You Made Me Love You/The Trolley Song-Judy at Carnegie Hall

Hello all! I hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was fun, even though I didn't really do anything! I worked the last four days, but only 5-hour shifts so they all went by really quick. Last night was fun. I went out for drinks with some people from work. And of course I was the only one carded! AAAAHH! lol. Oh well, their are worse things in the world than looking young. I met some guy at work this week who also looks like he's around 18, even though he's 21, and he was joking with me that one time he even got carded for a PG-13 movie! Which is wierd because he looks at least 16-17, but whatever, I just thought it was funny. Tonight I went out to dinner with the family, since Katie's birthday is tomorrow. She'll be 9. Wow...my little sister isn't so little anymore! Funny...I sometimes miss the times that she'd be scared in her room when she was a baby and I'd always come in and lay on her floor. She got so used to it that no one else was allowed to do it! I felt special...lol!
Lately I've also been working out, like weights and jogging and so forth, and I've managed so far to do it every night for the past week. It's put me in a happier state-of-mind, I don't really know why. I started doing it just because I want more confidence with myself and because my psychologist highly recommended it. It just makes me more relaxed and feeling healthy. I'm forcing myself to stick with it every night.
Anyway...not much else going on. Life is good. I think I'll actually not be dreading school so much when it starts back up next week. Oh, except math of course. hehe.

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: "Come Rain or Come Shine"-Ray Charles

Cry Me a River:

Now you say you're lonely
You cried the long night through
Well, you can cry me a river
Cry me a river
I cried a river over you.
Now you say you're sorry
For being so untrue
Well, you can cry me a river
Cry me a river
I cried a river over you.
You drove me,
Nearly drove me out of my head
While you never shed a tear.
Remember?
I remember all that you said!
Told me love was too plebeian,
Told me you were through with me and
Now you say you love me
Well, just to prove that you do...
Cry me a river
Cry me a river
I cried a river over you.
You drove me
Nearly drove me out of my head
While you never shed a tear
Remember?
I remember all that you said
Told me love was to plebeian,
Told me you were through with me...
And now you say you love me!
Well, just to prove that you do...
Come on! come on!
Cry me a river...
Cry me a river...
I cried a river over you
I cried a river over you...

I love this song. I think a lot of artists have covered it, but the renditions I've heard are Ray Charles and Barbra Streisand. Great, great stuff.

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: "Cry Me A River"-Ray Charles

Advertisement